So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize