oh god the rape fog is back!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
