Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
