In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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