Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
