No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I can't put those talents on a resume
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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