i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Who died my cat blue again?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
