Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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