he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
