That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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