I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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