I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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