Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
