Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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