i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
