So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
