she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
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my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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