he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
