Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
