it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
