I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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