god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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