Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
