I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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