girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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