How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
