Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
