Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
