It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
