I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
