i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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