I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
