I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
