Taylor Swift is so right about you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
