come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
