these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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