I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
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You. Win. At. Life.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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