i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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