listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
