my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
