we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
