I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
