did you get engaged???
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
