I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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