Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  He can't hurt my feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  I don't have feelings.

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  (212): he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings (718): He can't hurt my feelings (718): I don't have feelings. http://tfl.nu/gr1o
  Replies (4) Good night (2140) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff

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  (850): Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff http://tfl.nu/wuol
  Replies (12) Good night (3593) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??

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  (519): i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man?? http://tfl.nu/83cs
  Replies (10) Good night (4447) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"

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  (250): Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole" http://tfl.nu/hdok
  Replies (11) Good night (1287) Bad night (2683)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?

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  (404): Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night? http://tfl.nu/t0ro
  Replies (4) Good night (4446) Bad night (1629)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother

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  (240): It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother http://tfl.nu/obkn
  Replies (5) Good night (758) Bad night (2907)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.

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  (601): And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob. http://tfl.nu/lvxa
  Replies (8) Good night (2503) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  We were fucking at break-dick speeds.

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  (416): We were fucking at break-dick speeds. http://tfl.nu/i1r9
  Replies (15) Good night (1877) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.

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  (609): Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/7v0e
  Replies (8) Good night (449) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.

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  (605): If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van. http://tfl.nu/2zw8
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.

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  (330): There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists. http://tfl.nu/kdms
  Replies (4) Good night (283) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?

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  (808): wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke? http://tfl.nu/hs3o
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San

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  (847): Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San http://tfl.nu/3b2q
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.

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  (360): I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh. http://tfl.nu/fhs6
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you

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  (902): I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished (1-902): I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you http://tfl.nu/66fn
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (257)

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