it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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