I am puke
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder