nut hugger
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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