wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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