Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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