Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
