I think my vagina is haunted
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
