their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
