After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wish there were birth control emojis
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize