So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
