if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
