I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize