A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize