This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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