no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
