if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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