She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
